Most men who enjoy anal sex with guys know that fucking without condoms is high risk for HIV transmission. Most guys who have HIV got it when they fucked without a condom. Whether you're being fucked or doing the fucking, you're at risk for HIV. Some guys think if they are the 'top', that is the guy who sticks their dick into their partner's ass, then they can't get HIV. Other guys believe that if they pull out before they cum then both themselves and their partner are protected. Both of these beliefs are false. The top is at risk for HIV, and pulling out is not an effective barrier to HIV transmission.
Latex condoms can protect you from HIV, and other sexually transmitted infections, if they are used properly and don't break. Condoms do occasionally break but it's usually because they aren't being used the right way, are stored improperly, or are too old. Most condom packages come with instructions, so take time to read through them and review them every once and a while.
Many of us don't like condoms, or find it very difficult to use them consistently. There are lots of reasons why guys sometimes fuck without condoms. Some guys want the emotional and physical intimacy that comes with unprotected fucking. We want his cum in our ass, to have a part of him in us. This may be especially true for boyfriends and lovers. A condom can feel like there's a barrier to closeness that takes away from the emotional and physical joy of fucking with a guy.
Other guys find condoms really take away from the erotic pleasure of fucking. For some they reduce the sensations that make fucking a guy's ass feel so good.
Some guys want to use condoms but find that they just don't always do it. They may find it difficult to bring up condoms during sex, especially if the guy they are with is going ahead and trying to fuck without a condom. It can feel like a risk to say something, or bring a condom out. Sometimes in the moment, it may just feel so good that it can seem worth it to forget about condoms. Some guys find that when they've been drinking or taking drugs they are more likely to go ahead and fuck without a condom.
If you are concerned about the sex you are having, or if you are finding it difficult to use condoms on a regular basis, it's important to spend some time understanding why this is true for you. You can enjoy sex with guys and avoid getting HIV. Talk to friends you trust about the sex you're having. Think about the times you've taken risks and try to understand why.
Gently squeeze the condom wrapper before you open it. There should be a little air inside the wrapper. If there is no air the wrapper could be damaged and you should throw the condom out. When you open the wrapper, gently push the condom away from the side you plan to tear, so you don't damage the condom when you open the wrapper.
Put a small amount of lube on the inside tip of the condom before you put it on. This will hold the top together when you squeeze it, creating an air pocket at the tip for when you cum. A little lube on the inside can also improve sensation so it feels a little less like you are using a condom.
Squeeze the tip before putting the condom on. Creating an air pocket at the end of the condom creates a space for semen to shoot when you cum, so when you ejaculate the condom doesn't break.
Roll the condom on all the way down your dick, right to the base.
When you are fucking, especially with anal sex, it is very important to use plenty of water-based lubricant. Friction increases your risk for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. Lube will reduce the friction and reduce your risk. Water-based lubricants include KY & KY Liquid, Wet, Astroglide, and Mucco. If you have nothing else you can use spit, but it won't likely be enough to reduce friction significantly. Oil-based lubricants damage latex and can lead the condom to break. These include Crisco, Vaseline, hand lotions, and baby oils. Some guys like to use Crisco for fisting, and if you do so you should avoid fucking afterward as Crisco may be present in his ass and cause condom breakage.
Put plenty of lube on your dick and on his hole. You can even put some lube up his hole with your finger, which will help prepare his ass for your dick, and cover some of his the lining inside his ass with lube.
When you're fucking, check occasionally that the condom is still on your cock and isn't slipping off. If you're the one getting fucked, it is important to check as he enters you that he really is wearing a condom.
If you have difficulty staying hard with a condom on, you're not alone. Many guys experience this. Try different kinds. Condoms come in different shapes and sizes, and it is important to find a brand that feels good on your cock. Get used to condoms. Try them when you are alone. Jerk off with them. Getting used to condoms may take time but it is time well spent.
Some guys have latex allergies and cannot use latex condoms. If you have a latex allergy, use a natural skin condom on your dick, and a latex condom over top of it. Natural skin condoms are not a good barrier to HIV, but in conjunction with a latex condom will be okay. Put a small dab of lube on the inside tip of the second condom to reduce friction between the condoms.
Some guys like to use two condoms when they fuck to be extra careful. A single latex condom used properly is a reliable, effective method for avoiding HIV when you fuck. If you do use two condoms, however, make sure you put a small dab of lube on the inside tip of the second condom to reduce friction between the two condoms.
After you are done fucking, pull out of his ass before you go soft. Otherwise, the condom may slip off inside his ass. When you pull out, hold the base of the condom so it doesn't slip off. If the condom does slip off you can try to gently remove it, or let it work its way out naturally.
You may have heard about the female condom. This is a condom that can be inserted into the vagina before sex, so that the guy doesn't have to wear a condom on his dick. It protects both partners from HIV. You can use both oil-based and water-based lubricants and it can be inserted in advance of sex so there is no interruption of sex play before fucking. This condom has not been adequately tested for anal sex between guys, but it is made of polyurethane plastic, which is a good barrier to HIV. Some guys have tried it and many report liking it. It is available in Canada at some drug stores.
Copyright Pink Triangle Press, 1999
